Roller-Coaster Ride

One of my favorite things to do in the whole entire world is ride the Wild Thing at Valleyfair.  I love the thrill, the nervous energy, the anticipation, the screaming, the laughter with the people next to you, the possibility (however slim) that things might not work out and you might get stuck at the top.  The wonder of this ride, however, is that I only do it once every few years.  The excitement would wear off a bit and get a little overwhelming if I went every day, and I am starting to recognize that in my life here at the monastery.

The Ups:  There are so many amazing heights of living here at the Priory in Washington.  The sisters are some of the most wonderful, sincere, generous people I have ever met, and they are so willing to share their vibrant and full life with me.  We sing, we play games, we laugh, and we pray - we share peace as well as fun.

On Wednesday, I went to a truly spectacular concert with three of the sisters (Monika, Laura, and Therese).  The Irish band Lunasa was playing in Seattle, so we drove up (four hours early - "die-hard fan" does not even begin to describe S. Monika's devotion to this band!) and were treated to one of the most wonderfully soulful evenings I have ever experienced.  First of all, we had a Thai meal - the best green curry chicken I have ever tasted.  (Mom, I know I sound like you, but I'm seriously not exaggerating.)  It was made with coconut milk and it was so rich and flavorful!  The food here at the Priory is wonderful, but it's largely Minnesotan...you know, hotdish, soup, nothing too spicy.  Anyway, then the band came on stage, and they were so alive - they were one with their music and with each other, and they were all virtuosic musicians in their own right.  I kept thinking as I listened, "This is the music of my soul.  When I am old and can't remember anything else, I will still know this music and it will make me smile."  There is something so real about Irish music, so raw and honest and straightforward - it's often fast and crazy, but it can be slow and lamenting, too.  Absolutely incredible.  And it was all instrumental, too, which made the connection stronger - it was beyond words.

Another really high part of this week has been learning and playing African music with S. Redempta and S. Anamaria.  Today, I have been here for exactly a month (!), so we're having a little party to celebrate, and in preparation for that, we have been practicing music to perform.  The first night we played, S. Redempta and I were thrown into fits of laughter so many times - at first because I was so awful (the song was in 4 flats, give me a break), but then because we got it together and it sounded like she remembered from home.  The sisters play a drum and a shaker filled with seeds, and it totally sounds like Africa to me.  It was such an amazing gift to be able to give - to play a song that meant so much to her.  I am SO glad you made me take piano, Mom and Dad.  And then we learned a song to sing (which I'm also playing the piano for and I often play it in 4/4 instead of 3/4...), and all three of us sing in harmony!  My American-trained voice has a very different sound quality than their free, high, clear African voices, but together we make a unique and joyful sound.  It's a reflection of how we work on school stuff together, too - we come from very different places, but we have the same goals and we can build each other up with our divergent backgrounds. 

The laws of gravity, roller coasters, and rain dictate that what goes up must also come down.  Yesterday was a down kind of day - I was overwhelmed with applications for grad school, I was tired from getting back from the concert late, and I was lonely.  Living in a place with no peers is really odd.  Sometimes it's really fun, because I get to bring the energy and the newness to the community, kind of liven things up.  But other times, it's wearing to be the only one with energy and have no one to share it with.  It's so different from being a student!  People don't have facebook here, they don't text, they don't have cell phones, they don't have credit cards, they don't stay up til 2 in the morning on the weekends...they are just a lot older than me.  At school, I could just work, work, work until Friday afternoon and then my friends would come up with something to do and we would do it.  Here, if I want to have fun, I have to plan it, invite people, make arrangements, etc.  Totally opposite from college life where you just do whatever's happening.  And I just don't have my friend Laura's Social Coordinator skills :-).  I'm getting used to it, and the sisters are very cooperative whenever I plan something - they all love Bananagrams now - but sometimes it just gets hard. 

But, like the Wild Thing, you always come back to where you started: not too high, not too low, on solid ground you can stay on.  Things have started to even out again - I made a new friend, a 22-year old student at St. Martin's who volunteers here 4 times a week.  She's student-teaching, not a nun, and she loves to laugh - this is someone I can relate to!  I had met her before, but last night we just sat and talked and shared memories of high school and college and puppies...I haven't giggled so much since I left home.  I have a feeling you'll be hearing more about her!

AND I had a surprise visit from S. Trish, my Journey Group leader from St. Ben's and the first Sister I ever knew as a real person.  She came to Evening Praise and then took me out for ice cream - double chocolate fudge at Baskin Robbins...amazing.  It was so wonderful to talk and laugh with someone who knows and is close to the transition to living in a monastery - she knows the challenges and helped me acknowledge and laugh about them.  I was so glad to see a Minnesota face (well, she's from Washington, but I associate her with MN) and have someone who knows me take me somewhere! 

My lesson today comes from the mouth of my youngest sister, Erica.  When she first went to preschool, she was terribly homesick and didn't want to go back after the first day.  When my mom asked her why, Erica said, "Because no one there knows me well enough to take care of me!"  The sisters here take care of me extraordinarily well - they look out for me, they ask me how I'm doing, they have fun with me, they laugh with me, they pray with and for me.  But they're still new - they're still getting to know me, and I'm still getting to know them.  I'm the only one here who knows me well enough to take care of me, and I have to remember that.  Growing pains are harder when you're the only one doing what you're doing.  But I am almost finished with my scarf, almost finished with Out of Africa, and almost finished applying to grad schools.  Sometimes I'm hanging on for dear life on this roller-coaster ride of life, but most of the time I'm flying with my hands in the air, ready to meet whatever comes.

Peace and love!